FOR ALL OUR FATHER'S

 

I'm posting this early since we will be out of the country on Father's Day, June 16 2013

Father's Day 2000
Bill Barry, Richard Harris, my dad, Gregory and Jacob Barry (twins)

This is my father, John Junior Ralf.   My father lived his dreams and, as far as I know, was very happy with his life.  He married my mother (Norma Bunker) in 1943, served his country in the United States Army, had three daughters (alas, no sons), owned his own business and was a sargent in the Palos Verdes (California) sheriff department.  My father expected (you could say demanded) his girls to grow up with respect for all humans, to love our country and contribute to society.  He protected his wife and daughters fiercely and would give them anything they wanted.  My father died on June 12, 2006 and I miss him as much today as I did on June 13, 2006. 

This poem spoke volumes to me - thank you Wink for sending it.  To all our father's, I send prayers and blessings this Father's Day 2013.

Her hair was up in a pony tail, Her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school, And she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her, That she probably should stay home ;
Why the kids might not understand, If she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid; She knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates Of why he wasn't there today.
But still her mother worried, For her to face this day alone.
And that was why, once again, She tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school,  Eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees, a dad Who never calls.

There were daddies along the wall in back, for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently, Anxious in their seat.

One by one the teacher called on a student from the class.
To introduce their daddy, As seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name, Every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching, A man who wasn't there.

"Where's her daddy at?"  She heard a boy call out.
"She probably doesn't have one,"  Another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back, She heard a daddy say,
"Looks like another deadbeat dad, Too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her, As she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher, who Told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back, Slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child, Came words incredibly unique.
"My Daddy couldn't be here, Because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be, Since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know
All about my daddy, And how much he loves me so.


He loved to tell me stories, He taught me to ride my bike;
He surprised me with pink roses,  And taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,  And ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him, I'm not standing here alone.

'Cause my daddy's always with me, Even though we are apart;
I know because he told me, He'll forever be in my heart

With that, her little hand reached up, And lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat, Beneath her favorite dress.

And from somewhere there in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter, Who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
Doing what was a right.

And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft, But its message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much,
he's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
But heaven's just too far.

You see he is an American Soldier
And he died just this past year,
When a roadside bomb hit his convoy
And taught Americans to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes,
it's like he never went away."

And then she closed her eyes, And saw him there that day.

And to her mother's amazement, She witnessed with surprise,
A room full of daddies and children, All starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them, Who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second, They saw him at her side.

"I know you're with me Daddy,"
To the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers, Of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it, For each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,

Was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment, by the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
That heaven is never too far.

For all Mothers and Fathers

As we approach Mother's Day 2013, I wanted to add a little levity into my sometimes serious job of visiting graveyards.  

For all the Mother's and Father's that we have logged over the years, and commit to computer eternity, consider the following.

Mom's and Dad's deserve a special day in May (May 12, 2013) and in June (June 16, 2013) for putting up with us during our obnoxious teen years.  Anna Jarvis established Mother's Day at a 1908 church service in Grafton, West Virginia.  Two years later, in Spokane, Washington, Sonora Smart Dodd gave father's their holiday in a ceremony at a local YMCA.

Of interest is that Anna Jarvis, in 1948,  was so horrified at the over commercialization of Mother's Day (cards, flowers, gifts, etc.) that she was arrested for disturbing the peace at a New York City Mother's Day celebration.

• In the United States, 46% of males are fathers.
•  
• Around the world there are approx. 216,000 babies born every day.  In the United States there are approx. 11,000 born daily.  That's a lot of mothers!
•  
• In the United States, the average age of a first-time mother is 25 years.
•  
• In the United States in 2008 there were 6,268 triplet and higher-order multiple births.
•  
• In the United States, the average number of births on any given Tuesday, which is the most common day for births) was 13,415.
•  
• The amount of daily deaths around the world is approx. 153,400 so it sort of balances out.

According to the Insure.com survey in 2012, Mom's are losing their value (sort of).  A mother's value in 2013 was $59,862, down from $60,182 in 2012 and $61,436 in 2011.  But to most of us, our mothers are invaluable, and they are impossible to put a price on.  And that's how it should be!

According to mother's everywhere, the jobs that they like the least are yard work, cleaning and doing the family finances.  And what do they enjoy the most?  Taking care of their children, shopping for the family and cooking.


So to all Mother's and Father's, as well as all those who want to be mothers and fathers, have a beautiful day!

My Mother, Norma Ralf (2012)