FOR ALL OUR FATHER'S

 

I'm posting this early since we will be out of the country on Father's Day, June 16 2013

Father's Day 2000
Bill Barry, Richard Harris, my dad, Gregory and Jacob Barry (twins)

This is my father, John Junior Ralf.   My father lived his dreams and, as far as I know, was very happy with his life.  He married my mother (Norma Bunker) in 1943, served his country in the United States Army, had three daughters (alas, no sons), owned his own business and was a sargent in the Palos Verdes (California) sheriff department.  My father expected (you could say demanded) his girls to grow up with respect for all humans, to love our country and contribute to society.  He protected his wife and daughters fiercely and would give them anything they wanted.  My father died on June 12, 2006 and I miss him as much today as I did on June 13, 2006. 

This poem spoke volumes to me - thank you Wink for sending it.  To all our father's, I send prayers and blessings this Father's Day 2013.

Her hair was up in a pony tail, Her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school, And she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her, That she probably should stay home ;
Why the kids might not understand, If she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid; She knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates Of why he wasn't there today.
But still her mother worried, For her to face this day alone.
And that was why, once again, She tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school,  Eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees, a dad Who never calls.

There were daddies along the wall in back, for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently, Anxious in their seat.

One by one the teacher called on a student from the class.
To introduce their daddy, As seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name, Every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching, A man who wasn't there.

"Where's her daddy at?"  She heard a boy call out.
"She probably doesn't have one,"  Another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back, She heard a daddy say,
"Looks like another deadbeat dad, Too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her, As she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher, who Told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back, Slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child, Came words incredibly unique.
"My Daddy couldn't be here, Because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be, Since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know
All about my daddy, And how much he loves me so.


He loved to tell me stories, He taught me to ride my bike;
He surprised me with pink roses,  And taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,  And ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him, I'm not standing here alone.

'Cause my daddy's always with me, Even though we are apart;
I know because he told me, He'll forever be in my heart

With that, her little hand reached up, And lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat, Beneath her favorite dress.

And from somewhere there in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter, Who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
Doing what was a right.

And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft, But its message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much,
he's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
But heaven's just too far.

You see he is an American Soldier
And he died just this past year,
When a roadside bomb hit his convoy
And taught Americans to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes,
it's like he never went away."

And then she closed her eyes, And saw him there that day.

And to her mother's amazement, She witnessed with surprise,
A room full of daddies and children, All starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them, Who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second, They saw him at her side.

"I know you're with me Daddy,"
To the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers, Of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it, For each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,

Was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment, by the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
That heaven is never too far.

For all Mothers and Fathers

As we approach Mother's Day 2013, I wanted to add a little levity into my sometimes serious job of visiting graveyards.  

For all the Mother's and Father's that we have logged over the years, and commit to computer eternity, consider the following.

Mom's and Dad's deserve a special day in May (May 12, 2013) and in June (June 16, 2013) for putting up with us during our obnoxious teen years.  Anna Jarvis established Mother's Day at a 1908 church service in Grafton, West Virginia.  Two years later, in Spokane, Washington, Sonora Smart Dodd gave father's their holiday in a ceremony at a local YMCA.

Of interest is that Anna Jarvis, in 1948,  was so horrified at the over commercialization of Mother's Day (cards, flowers, gifts, etc.) that she was arrested for disturbing the peace at a New York City Mother's Day celebration.

• In the United States, 46% of males are fathers.
•  
• Around the world there are approx. 216,000 babies born every day.  In the United States there are approx. 11,000 born daily.  That's a lot of mothers!
•  
• In the United States, the average age of a first-time mother is 25 years.
•  
• In the United States in 2008 there were 6,268 triplet and higher-order multiple births.
•  
• In the United States, the average number of births on any given Tuesday, which is the most common day for births) was 13,415.
•  
• The amount of daily deaths around the world is approx. 153,400 so it sort of balances out.

According to the Insure.com survey in 2012, Mom's are losing their value (sort of).  A mother's value in 2013 was $59,862, down from $60,182 in 2012 and $61,436 in 2011.  But to most of us, our mothers are invaluable, and they are impossible to put a price on.  And that's how it should be!

According to mother's everywhere, the jobs that they like the least are yard work, cleaning and doing the family finances.  And what do they enjoy the most?  Taking care of their children, shopping for the family and cooking.


So to all Mother's and Father's, as well as all those who want to be mothers and fathers, have a beautiful day!

My Mother, Norma Ralf (2012)

Mother Teresa profound words

 

This version found written on the wall in Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta:

              People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.

            If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.

            If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.

           If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.

            What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.

            If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.

            The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.

         Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.

         In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.

 

What a gas!

(I know this doesn't have anything to do with Tombstones, but I decided to do a little research when I heard 2013 was the anniversary of gas!)

Do you know what is at the corner of Baum Boulevard and St. Clair Street in Pittsburgh, PA? Or why Bowser Avenue in Fort Wayne, IN is famous?

There is a historic marker at Baum and St Clair commemorating the first drive in filling station.  That gas station was a breakthrough in automotive convenience and made history 100 years ago in 1913. 

Before this first 'gas' station a century ago, fueling up was an adventure.  The first places to sell fuel were pharmacies, as a side business.

In 1900, the United States had 4,000 cars, compared with 20 million horses.  Gasoline was considered a waste product of kerosene.  Motorists had to take a bucket to the general store, hardware dealer, drug store or local refinery and fill up from a barrel.  A few (very few) fearless salesmen sold gasoline from pushcarts.

In 1905, the United States was manufacturing 25,000 automobiles a year.  Sylvanus Bowser developed a pump to safely transfer gasoline from a barrel into a car's tank.  Today, Bowser Avenue in Fort Wayne, IN is named after him.  Fuel pumps in New Zealand and Australia are still known as "bowsers".  From his invention came the advent of the 'filling' station.

The world's first purpose-built 'gas station' was built in St. Louis in 1905 where you pulled to the curbside pump to get one gallon of gasoline, causing traffic jams and long lines.  Thus a drive-in(not drive-up) filling station was the solution.

The Baum Boulevard filling station sold 30 gallons of gas at 27 cents a gallon in 1913.  And all cars were fully serviced by 3 men!  One checked the air in the tires, one washed ALL the windows, one went under the hood.  And sometimes there was even a fourth man who entertained the kids in the backseat, or brought out treats and gifts to the car.

By 1929, the U.S. Federal Census counted 121,513 filling stations (the term 'service station' didn't come about until 1948).  In 1929, these filling stations sold $1.8 billion in gasoline.

The typical filling station was designed as a "decorated shed" with a typical oblong box that was flat roofed and contained two bays.  One bay had a hydraulic lift, the other with a central floor drain for washing cars.

Texico, in 1928, was the first US company to sell its gasoline in all 48 states. 

In 1947, the first self-serve service station opened in Los Angeles.

The 1973 Arab oil embargo caused gasoline prices to soar.  They went from 36 cents a gallon to 40 cents a gallon!  Outrageous!!!

In 1979 the average price of gasoline topped $1 per gallon for the first time.

I hope you enjoyed my little trip down "gasoline alley".

 

Check out this link - thanks to Wink!

http://hipspics.freewebspace.com/gas/gas.html

GOODBYE TO A DEAR LADY

                                        

                                                      June 28 1934 - March 16, 2013
                                             
Today was the funeral services for a dear lady that was a co-founder of the Tombstone Transcription group.  Sally Goehring was more than that - she was a friend.

Sally Goehring was the first person to call me back in 2001 after the Albuquerque Journal ran a story about my work in a local cemetery.  At that time I had completed one cemetery with the help of Danielle Sengel.  The newspaper kindly added a post-script that said I'd be interested in volunteers to work on additional cemeteries.  If I remember correctly, Sally called the afternoon that the newspaper was published.  I hadn't even had time to think of training because I didn't think anyone would be interested.

My first group meeting was September 12, 2001 (yep, day after 9/11) and Sally arrived early and stayed late.  She was anxious to hear of my plans and what we could accomplish.  She said she had been climbing over fences into any cemetery she could find for years.  She couldn't pass up a cemetery without getting out of the car and walking through it.  Didn't matter if it was a new one or 100 years old, she enjoyed it.

She quickly became my friend and a very dedicated hard worker.  Sally came to the cemeteries we were walking whether it was hot or cold, windy or spitting rain.  She would wear mittens that had removable fingers just so she could work in the cold.  Didn't make any difference to her - she was doing what she loved.  And she had impeccable writing.  She knew the work was important and the information would be left for all generations to come.

Sally also taught me the love of quilting.  She and I worked together - she teaching, me stumbling with getting seams straight and matching points.  She didn't care if my points  matched, she just told be to try harder next time.  I love quilting now and every quilt has a bit of Sally in it as I remember her instructions and love of the quilt.

Yes, a dear lady has left this world and entered heaven where she is teaching the angels how to make heavenly quilts and pointing out all the burial places in New Mexico.  I will miss you Sally Goehring!

ALL AROUND THE STATE WE GO - again

             
We're off on another route around the state finding new (and old) cemeteries. 

First stop was Magdalena and the Community Cemetery.  Very old cemetery that is still used today, just north of town of Magdalena.

 
The town of Kelly New Mexico, which thrived here, was more than a mining boomtown.... it was home to it's thousands of citizens. The mining operations sent huge shipments of lead, zinc, and silver ores to smelters, which helped build America during the industrial westward expansion. These great shipments made Kelly the foremost mine in New Mexico's 19th century past. John S. Hutchason arrived here in 1866 after serving in the Civil War to prospect this area at the invitation of his partner Pete Kinisinger. The early town on this site as called "Middle Camp:, and formed a hub for the Graphic, Waldo, Juanita, and Kelly Mines.  Today it is a ghost town with only a tiny church (St John the Baptist) surviving.  But they had a cemetery and the gravesites are scattered on the hills.  We found about 20 readable markers.

Kelly Cemetery

Cleveland Ranch Cemetery is actually a marker along US 60 as you get close to Pietown from the East.

Cleveland Ranch

In the small town of Quemado, there are actually 3 cemeteries.  The first two are at the Sacred Heart Church.  One is the Old Sacred Heart, the other is the newer section behind the church.

Sacred Heart Church, Quemado

                                           

Sacred Heart Old Cemetery

Sacred Heart New Cemetery

                                        
                                      
There is also a single grave site in Quemado for A.A.C. Baca who died in 1912.  It is on private property behind locked gates.

Grave of A.A.C. Baca

There is one more memorial along US 60 just west of Quemado.  It is the Curtis Family grave site who were pioneers in the area.  It is two babies who died in 1918 and 1920.


Curtis Memorial

Down south to Deming we went.  There are three cemeteries associated with Deming but only two are still being used.  The first is Holy Cross Cemetery NW of downtown.  There is nothing left of this one.

Holy Cross Deming

To the north of the city, just about 1 mile past the Hatch junction is the Desert View Cemetery.  This cemetery is still used but is showing its age.


Desert View, Deming

 

And east of downtown is Mountain View Cemetery.  A very large and pretty cemetery that has large upright headstones, so rare today.

Mountain View, Deming

In Las Cruces there are many cemeteries.  In the city proper there is Masonic, IOOF, St. Joseph, and Our Lady of Guadalupe.

        On the NW corner of Compress and Brown is the Masonic Cemetery, a very pretty tree-lined cemetery.

Masonic Cemetery, Las Cruces
 

Across the street, on the NE corner, is the IOOF cemetery and Barela Catholic Cemetery.                Neither cemetery is being used.  The Barela Catholic has a locked gate.

IOOF Cemetery

 

Barela Catholic Cemetery

                                                       

Saint Joseph Old (west side) Las Cruces

                                             

Saint Joseph New (east side) Las Cruces

                                      


      Our Lady of Guadalupe Cemetery is south of Las Cruces in the area known as Tortugas.

Our Lady of Guadalupe, Las Cruces

North of Las Cruces is the tiny town of Dona Ana where there are 3 cemeteries.

Dona Ana Historical Cemetery

Dona Ana Methodist Cemetery 

Dona Ana Cemetery

 

 

And finally to Socorro and a rabbit-warren of streets.  Hard to find these three cemeteries that actually all within a mile of each other.

 

San Miguel Catholic Old Cemetery

 Socorro

San Miguel Catholic New Cemetery (just west of Old)

 

  

Socorro Cemetery (NW of San Miguel New)

 

 

We took 1037 pictures on this trip and travelled  557 miles

 

So many to find; So little time!

We were off on another cemetery hunt - actually multiple cemeteries hunt!

We headed north up on NM 4 to NM 290 a few miles to Ponderosa.  There is a small cemetery next to the Ponderosa Fire Station called aptly, Pondrosa Cemetery.  Perhaps 200 burials here, many very old.

Ponderosa Cemetery, Sandoval County, NM

Back to NM 4 and headed north to Jemez Springs.  There are two cemeteries behind the Our Lady of Assumption Catholic church right on NM 4.  I think there are Catholic burials behind the church and then in the back part of the cemetery is the Jemez Springs Presbyterian burials.

Our Lady of Assumption Jemez Springs, Sandoval Co., NM

Jemez Springs Presbyterian, Sandoval Co., NM

Next was Los Alamos where there is surprisingly only one cemetery in a fair sized city.  It is tucked into the north part of the city and is the only cemetery in the entire Los Alamos county.  It is a beautiful cool and green cemetery with gentle hills and pretty benches.

Guaje Pine, Los Alamos, NM

 

We got lost trying to find San Ildefonso so just had to continue on to Santa Clara Pueblo. 

Santa Clara Pueblo, Rio Arriba Co., NM

 

The Black Mesa Cemetery is beautiful set against a pretty mesa.  But it is behind locked gates and about 1/2 mile is the closest we could get.

                                          Black Mesa Cemetery, Rio Arriba Co., NM

In Espanola there is only one cemetery, fairly large, known as Sacred Heart.  It is on the west side of town behind the Sacred Heart Catholic church.  It too was locked but we could get through a skinny little gate.  There are many cats wandering around this cemetery and they scare you when they jump off a tombstone!

                                           Sacred Heart Catholic Cemetery, Espanola, NM

After spending the night, we started early the next morning just north of NM 68 on US 285 is the Ohkay Owingeh Pueblo aka San Juan Pueblo.  Just 1/2 mile from the turn off NM 68 (on US 285) is the Saint John the Baptist large cemetery.

                                          At Ohkay Owingeh Pueblo, Rio Arriba Co., NM

Continuing north, we went east on NM 582 to the tiny village of Guique.  There is a small village cemetery here with about 100 burials.

                                          San Raphael del Guique, Rio Arriba Co., NM

On to the equally small village of Chamita.  The main cemetery is on CR 56, just south of US 285.

                                         Capilla de San Pedro, Chamita, Rio Arriba Co., NM

Next we needed to find a second cemetery in Chamita.  This tiny area has only tiny, tiny alleyways off the main road.  It was just like driving in someones driveway in order to get anywhere.  Driving a large white Audi Q7 vehicle, being 'white' and not speaking Spanish set us WAY apart from the villagers.  It seemed every yard had someone watching us.  But in order to find this second cemetery, we had to ask someone.  We stopped a man walking down the road looking for his lost clutch parts.  When we asked him if he knew of another cemetery, he said no one knows about that one!  It was our lucky day because this cemetery was actually on his property and his grandparents had owned it!  He took us right to the hidden cemetery on his property and told us the history.  He registered it with the church and named it Camino Angelito.  Sometimes it pays to not speak Spanish!

                                                       Camino Angelito, Chamita, NM

                                         Graves of 5 little children the cemetery is named after

Now we are are on the High Road to Taos and checking out the confusing community of Cordova.  You have to go south of NM 76 down CR80 and once again on tiny dirt roads.  There are two cemeteries here, surprisingly, across the street from each other, both with lots of room.  There was no indication of a name for either, so we are just calling them Cordova East (on east side of road) and Cordova West (side of road).

Cordova East

Cordova West

 

We have also been confused by cemetery listings for Truchas so we had to go there too!  There is one large cemetery coming into Truchas from the West on NM 76.

Los Llanitos Cemetery, W of Truchas, Rio Arriba, NM

 

In the village of Truchas, right where NM 76 makes a sharp left turn and NM 578 goes east, there is a plot that has 3 cemeteries combined.  Only one had a name visible.  We are guessing (until we can prove otherwise) that one of these is the Camposanto Truchas.

 

Truchas North site

Truchas West site

Martinez Cemetery, Truchas, NM

The Martinez Cemetery was the only one with a name, which is on the large cross.

 

Our last stop was south of Santa Fe in the rain.  From I-25 take the Las Golondrinas exit west to Camino San Jose and follow it to the little church.  This is the San Jose Camposanto or La Cienega Cemetery.

 

 

This was the end of this survey trip but there will be another one next month.  Stay tuned!

Trip was 176 miles.